Over the Edge

A few months ago, I was forced to go on medical leave due to my bipolar depression. Reaching the point one step before suicide, I was forced to realize that work and my pride were not worth my life. The company I was working for had previously gone through some managerial changes and, to some it up, let’s just say the cards did not fall in my favor. This accelerated my spiral into the darkest corners of my bipolar depression. Raised with the mentality to push through the hard stuff, never

give up, etc,

I pushed through and nearly pushed myself permanently over the edge. While this mentality can be helpful in some situations, for someone dealing with a mental illness it can be extremely detrimental. This never give up mentality becomes problematic when it goes beyond the bounds of grit and into the throws of misery. In a society that says produce more, work harder and never give up, it can be incredibly daunting to advocate for yourself and say it is too much. However, it is vitally important and, as I have learned, it can be a matter of life and death.

Currently, I am working with my therapist to learn how to walk the line between grit and over exertion. Realizing that my Bipolar 2 and ADHD diagnosis's make me unable to handle certain situations like “normal people” is a very touch pill to swallow. However, I learned the hard way that the consequence is far scarier than sticking up for myself and protecting my boundaries. It is critical to remember that there is absolutely is no shame in doing what is needed to protect and car for yourself.

#bipolardepression #bipolar #depression #manicdepressive #adhd #bipolar #bipolarII #fightthestigma #livingwithmentalillness #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthstigma